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TOPIC
3
What is everything about?
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What
is the Messie-Syndrom?
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For the individual it means feeling blocked and inhibited
for a long period of time, being stuck in just one mind set, not knowing
any beginning and any end. |
This experience
automatically brings about difficulties in behaviour , you have the feeling of
not having sufficient energy to perform your daily jobs.
Situations which require some sort of action are therefore avoided. People who
call themselves “Messies” suffer from big difficulties when it comes to
structuring time and organization and it takes huge effort for them to get
their daily routine organized.
This inadequacy is most evident when people try to put their
thoughts into action. When Messies wish to do something their wishes and ideas
often are very strong. But then another idea or wish comes up and another idea
or wish …. The realization of these wishes or ideas usually fail. “I´m
going to do this later. Or I´m going to do it tomorrow” . However, the
actions to realize the ideas will neither happen at a later point of time nor
tomorrow. A number of unrelated actions follow that cause poor concentration
and a permanent inability to act. Every action becomes impossible.
A person affected reports: ”Every
little task demands huge effort from me, although I try to pull myself
together. I feel ashamed in front of my husband and my children, who however,
show some understanding. I simply can`t do it. Taking a tea towel into my
hand? Already this is beyond my strength and energy. I should also prepare a
meal and do some cooking. I can`t do this either. Hundreds of different ideas
employ my thoughts but I`m not able to connect them with each other. I let
everything pass me by and I´m bored to tears. Then, I drop my plans and under
some kind of pretext I take flight.”
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Typical
patterns of behaviour.
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These people have a low
self-esteem which has the effect that they never reach their actual
goals. This again is covered up as well as compensated for by
obsessive perfectionism , by solicitude about others and by
supervising others ( as well as by being disdainful, being scheming
and being into gossiping). |
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These
people are inclined to isolate themselves, to feel uneasy among
other people, especially among authorities. |
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They would do anything to gain
acknowledgement. They would do anything to make people like them,
even if it became clear that this behaviour was out of place. If
acknowledgements is lacking, they react with hostile, aggressive and
hurtful behaviour.
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You
intimidate these people easily if you criticize them personally or
if you confront them with aggressive or annoyed people.
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Generally, when choosing new relationships, these people tend to
choose people being emotionally unstable , suffering from addicton
or other problems.
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These
people lead their lives according to a certain attitude: For
instance, situation-dependent they are prone to fall victim as a
reaction to something. They are attracted to people who are similar
or alike – in the partnership or in other relationships. They
mistake sympathy for love and are more inclined to people who need
to be pitied and saved. They are very little attracted to healthy,
affectionate and loveable people, showing strength and
self-confidence.
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It is difficult for them to carry out schemes and
little projects and to persevere in working on them from the
beginning to the very end. |
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Individuals concerned suffer when their ideas repeatedly
revolve around the same problems, namely how to deal with their daily
routine. They experience helplessness and the feeling arises that they
will nevr be able to cope with these daily tasks.
Feeling extremely ashamed of themselves prevents people
from enjoying any social contacts and makes them suffer from hopelessness.
They become dependent on help, which self-help groups offer to them. In
comparison to other self-support groups “Messies” are very recent groups,
although they deal with an old and well-known problem. Even though the
history of the “Messies SHG” only goes back to just eight years they have
successfully attracted the attention of the public since then and have
shown how to tackle the problems involved. In this way they are of
tremendous help and support to people concerned, who are given a good
chance now to leave their isolation finally behind. |
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